I broke my leg at a pet store as I didn’t see the empty pallet in front of me, I was too distracted by a cat condo that was shaped like a toadstool. My foot got stuck in the side part of the pallet, and I went straight down on my shin. It WAS pretty cute though.
I put a sharpened pencil in my front jeans pocket, pointy end down, and forgot about it. When I sat down it stabbed me in the head of my dick. 25 years later I still have that graphite mark on the head of my dick.
I was working in my high school photography lab cutting mat board for people to mount their prints, using a paper cutter. I was apparently trying to impress some girl and was chatting with her. Didn’t see my thumb go over the line and cut the end of it off. Girl fainted and I had to carry the piece down to the nurse, get taken to the hospital and have it stitched back on.
Unexpected bonus though – my left thumbprint is all messed up.
I threw my back out after cutting lose with a very big fart. When I told the doctor he had to step out of the room to laugh at me.
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