“A long time ago I took a girl to dinner and a movie. The movie was my choice and dinner was hers- she chose Mexican. Me and Mexican don’t get along well, but I was trying to make a good impression so I just went with it.
We finish dinner and the movie and I’m driving her home when my bowels all of the sudden are like, ‘dude if you don’t find a bathroom in the next 30 secs, you’re going shit your pants.’ I pull the car over, look at her and say, ‘I’m really sorry,’ get out of the car, drop my pants and take the biggest deuce ever.
Didn’t have anything to wipe with so I used my socks. I got back in the car, sighed, looked at her and said, ‘I’m so sorry.’ She busted out laughing and we wound up dating for like a year or so.”