So far, Tony’s got a great little system. The good times are rolling, the gas is flowing, and the coworkers are breathing easy. But one day, Tony gets hit with a particularly angry gurgler.
“I sensed a disturbance from the depths so headed for the bathroom as usual. I was on the edge of erupting so had to sprint walk with every muscle clenched. In haste, I forgot to lock the door behind me.
Now when I expel I also like to pull down my pants and underwear because I am always mindful of the smell clinging to the fabric of my clothes and hanging around with you for most of the day. Probably paranoia but better safe than sorry. I pull down my pants and launch. Was a great one. A perfect B flat minor.
I peered over my shoulder because it felt a little harder to pass than usual. Sitting on the floor was a little poo nugget. Not too large, maybe the size of a medium strawberry.
That’s when my life changed forever. I heard the door handle jiggle before it swung open.
There I was, naked from the waist down looking over my shoulder at a piece of my own shit.
It was a small Asian woman. She looked at me, then at the poo and then back at me. Pale as a ghost. She quickly shut the door as I heard her heels scurry back down the corridor.
She’s not with my company but I still recognized her from the break room. For a week now I haven’t left my office. I don’t want to see her and feel like she’s told everyone and they won’t stop staring at me. I like this job but part of me wants to skip town and never return. This is what you get for being chivalrous!”