“Probably my most memorable was someone waking up. After the tube was removed, he looked around at the people near him, got a big smile on his face, then looked at me and asked “was that as good for you as it was for me? That would have to be THE best sex I’ve ever had.” I learned afterwards that arousal is one of the less known side effects of Propofol.”
“My doctor told me this story: I was being anesthetized for a laparoscopy. The anesthesiologist asked me to count backwards from ten. I obeyed thusly, “Ten, nine, eight, seven, don’t fuck it up, Doc, six, five……”“
“Note: I have baby goats, and my first male goat had to get castrated a few months after we got him.
When I was getting my wisdom teeth out… I don’t remember anything.
The week after my surgery, several nurses came into the room to say hello to me. They told me that I had made the most memorable comment while going under of their careers. Apparently, I said,
“My goat just had surgery! His name is Vincent Van Goat! And he just had his ballsack cut off!”“
“This is actually something that happened to my friend, while he was taking care of his dad for a while.
His dad had just gotten back from a surgery for a stomach hernia, and was still kinda drugged still from the anesthetic. He had been asked to take care of him for a while, which was no easy task since he was pretty much doing nothing and muttering random or incoherent things. He was putting him on the couch, and tucking him in so he could go to sleep. He was saying “come on, dad, go to sleep.” His dad was still muttering incoherently, and then out of nowhere says, “Cookies aren’t good with cheese. Promise you won’t have cookies with cheese?” “
“My brother underwent some serious surgery many years ago. When he was being transferred back to the recovery room afterward, he suddenly demanded that the nurse stop and lift the sheet so he could see his feet. (He was still much under the influence of the anesthetic. The surgery had nothing to do with his feet.)
She humored him and lifted the sheet. He looked at his feet and and then settled down with a smile on his face.
He later explained that before the surgery, he had asked his doctor how he would know if the surgery was a success. The doctor had told him that if, after the operation, he found a “toe tag” on his big toe, he could be certain that the operation had failed.”
“A child of about 8 had been watching TV whereby he had seen patients counting while going under. He asked if he could count and the anaesthetist said he’d let him know when to count. He then said, OK, you can count back from 10 now, but you won’t make it to 1. The child then counted backwards from 10 really fast. 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 you’re wrong, I’m still awake! Then he wasn’t.”
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“One of the anaesthetists likes to tell the kids stories to keep them calm and distracted if they’re having a gas induction. Often it involves space masks, space ships and going to the moon. Normally they are asleep before they get to moon. One kid woke up and the first thing he said was, “are we at the moon yet?””
“This was while waking up from anesthesia and it was The Wife. We had only been dating for a few months and she had to go under the knife. I was in the waiting room while she had her surgery.
The nurse came out and asked me if I was waiting for Katie. I said yes and got up. She told me that Katie had been asking for me since she was able to form words again. Aww, how sweet. We’ve only been together for a few months and she already was thinking of me even in a drugged out state.
The nurse went over her discharge paperwork with me and told me how long her recovery would be, etc.
Then she handed me a clipboard and said, “Ok, Dexter, if you could sign here.”
My face must have said it all. She quickly backpedaled and became flustered. “Oh, my goodness, your name isn’t Dexter, is it? Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s the name she was asking for. I hope I didn’t upset you. Is that her ex or something?”
I laughed, pulled out my phone and showed her a picture of Dexter.
It was the rottweiler she wanted. Not me.
Oh well, he is a lot cuter than me.”
“I’m not a medical professional, but over the years my mom had to have many surgeries. Unfortunately for the doctors and operating room staff, she had a peculiar reaction to anesthesia: she sang show tunes. Loudly, and very off-key; she had one of the worst singing voices I’ve ever heard. We had a lot of laughs with the medical staff about her “serenades” – she was pretty well-known there!”
“Isaac Asimov told the story of the effect his pre-op had on him before a thyroid operation. Apparently as he was being wheeled into the theatre he reached up and took the surgeon’s arm and said,
“Doctor, Doctor, in green coat,
Doctor, Doctor, cut my throat;
And then Doctor, Doctor won’t you then,
Sew me back together again.”
He afterwords reflected that setting the surgeon’s hand shaking with laughter was probably the most stupid thing he ever did.”
“I was giving a 14 year old boy sedation for a procedure once… I was talking to him and his dad (who was sitting beside him the whole time) and they were talking about school, how great his grades were, his mission trips, his many accomplishments and how good a kid he’s always been, etc. About a minute into this infusion of happiness, the kid gets this enlightened look and his disconjugate eyes began to wander.
“How are you feeling?”, I ask.
“I’m getting dizzy. Wow.”
“That’s normal. Just relax”, I offer in my calming doctor voice.
“Man…I mean, shit dude…” he slurs loudly.
Dad’s eyes go wide, mouth wider.
“Jesus, dude, I’m higher than fuck right now. Feels like I just burned a fat bowl.”
Awkward silence. Dad is now red faced and I think not breathing.
“You know they can say anything on this stuff, it’s not unusual”, I half-lie to him.
I began the procedure, reducing his broken wrist. He utters a few more “fucks” and “shits” but offers no resistance.
One hour later, I check on him and he’s wide awake, no complaints. Ready for discharge. Dad’s still staring ahead, not red, and breathing this time. I tell them about follow up and that he’ll have a prescription for pain medicine.
Dad looks around and then at son and says matter of factly, “You can keep that prescription, Doc. I’ll have him burn a fat bowl if he’s hurting too badly.”
I’m certain the broken wrist was the least of this boy’s concerns on the ride home.”
“I was about 15 and having my wisdom teeth removed under anesthetic.
I don’t remember much about waking up, but I remember my Mom standing near my bed and my boyfriend walked in. My mom turned to him and said “Don’t touch the fucking bed.” I thought it was a strange thing for her to say. My mom never swears. I found out afterwards that she was just repeating my words to her. Verbatim.
I also remember that a nurse asked me if I would like anything. So I asked for a cigarette. She just tittered and said “Oh no, you can’t have that. Is there anything else you need?” So I asked for a cup of coffee and she tittered again “haha, no you can’t have that yet.”
So I told her “So I can’t have anything I want. Why the fuck are you asking me?” Then I hear my mom say “MELANIE?!”
And then I woke up a few hours later feeling really embarrassed and apologetic. It seems I’m not a very nice person when I wake up after anesthesia.”
“I’m 15, and obviously not a doctor, but I remember this very clearly.
My grandfather had lung cancer, and they were doing some kind of surgery. (I was young and don’t remember for what)
According to the doctors, as the anesthesia began to take effect, he started screaming:
“The cowbells are ringing! I need to put the cows away!”
He then proceeded to fall asleep.
The doctor found this hilarious, and shared it with us after the surgery was done.
It’s especially funny considering he had never owned cows.
Makes you wonder.”
“Patients say memorable things when coming out of anesthesia and usually do not recall what they said.
My favorite was an older woman whose daughter was at her bedside when the woman was recovering after surgery. The younger woman was talking to her mom and the mom said “Who are you?” The daughter answered her and the mom said “You can’t be my daughter, you are too ugly!”“
“I once observed a vegan girl under the effects of Ketamine. The doctors had decided that she would have her arm reset, so they put her under.
Laughing, deliriously, she said, “I love butter so much! I want butter. I want to jump off the Eiffel tower, into a pool of butter. I want to go zip lining off of the Eiffel tower, and I want to go canoeing in the lake of butter underneath!”
The rest of us observing were laughing too, she hadn’t eaten butter in years!”
“Once I had an elderly patient who was very ill and needed what’s known as a pericardial window. The primary anesthetic agent I chose was ketamine, which can allow patients to be more aware and/or dream while “asleep.”
The operation went off without complication. In the recovery room the patient pleaded with me. He said, “Please doc, send me be back. I was young again. I had my hair and my own teeth and I could get it up.”
Then while I writing some notes, he asked for the urinal so he could urinate. The recovery room nurse brought him the urinal. When he finished, he flung it across the room. With a laugh I told the nurse that the patient seemed pissed off with the care he was receiving. She ordered me out of “her” recovery room, which I dutifully did, chuckling as I went.”
Via Quora
