I don’t think I could cut it as a teacher. It’s too hard standing there, day after day, teaching a lesson and getting blank stares from kids. Then, when you do something stupid or accidental, then your credibility is shot and you’ll never live it down. And if these answers on quora are any indication, it happens far too often.
I’ll just stay here, behind my keyboard, where no one can make fun of me…
“One time in middle school, one of my teachers, I don’t remember what she taught, was giving a lesson. As she was speaking, one of the guys in our class (he was part of the “clown group” (a.k.a the trouble-makers)) decided to toss a pencil across the room while yelling “Bootica!”(something along those lines…I’m not sure how to spell it).
Anyway, displeased with the guy’s conduct, the teacher yelled at the top of her lungs “Pick up that p*nis!” Of course, she meant ‘pencil’ but, that’s not what came out of her mouth.
Of course we, being middle school kids, made a big deal out of it. Poor lady…her face stayed various shades of red for the rest of the class.”
“I was a fifteen-year-old girl, doing work experience at my old primary school.
My job was basically to get in on time, supervise the children and pick up the trash they left in the playground after lunch. I was less of a teaching assistant and more of a second pair of eyes and hands.
One of the days was a ‘special blue day’, i.e the kids didn’t have to wear uniform as long as their outfit contained at least one blue garment.
The staff decided to get involved. That was cool, but the woman who used to be my teacher when I was eight years old got a little too into it: “Look! Look, I’m even wearing blue knickers!”
She pulled her jeans down to show me her sky blue underwear.
To anyone who asked for my eyewitness account, I sheepishly replied, “They were a lovely colour.”
“My husband was teaching a karate class to a large group of toddlers. They wore tiny white uniforms and looked so pristine and adorable and ready to learn. In the beginning of the lesson, he decides to tell them a story. It’s usually a life lesson starring some animals. He starts:
“There was once a small bunny who was nice. But something was wrong with it. It was missing a paw.”
Toddlers: “Aahh…”
Husband: (Upon realizing that it may come off as offensive): “Actually there was nothing wrong with it. He was no worse than other bunnies…”
Toddlers: ?
Husband: “Ah, forget it. Let’s try another story.””
“In school we had a blackboard and teachers would use white chalk to write on it. Their hands would get very white and dusty with chalk after writing the lesson.
Our geography teacher walks out from the classroom briefly in the middle of the class, then returns. I start hearing some of my colleagues trying to contain their laughter. The geography teacher was facing away from us, and his trousers were full of white chalk right in the middle of his backside… he’d clearly been scratching his bum frantically as he had white chalk marks right in the middle of it!
He got really angry with us and started questioning us, but none of us had the courage to tell him why!”
“Our computer teacher at the time was explaining something about links. I cant remember exactly what it was but I do remember what she wrote on the board:
CLICK HERE
Nothing wrong with this,right?
Well she wrote “c” and “l” especially close to each other so it ended up looking like this…
DICK HERE
We DIED. it was during an inspection.
That still couldn’t stop us.”
“One time during my freshman year of high school, I had a young, attractive, female Physics teacher who has a very strict no phones policy.
One day during class, I had a boner. The teacher saw it, thought it was a phone, and grabbed it.
After realizing her mistake, she inhaled sharply, turned red, and bolted out of the classroom. Very few people knew what had happened, and I didn’t feel like filling the rest in.
I don’t know who this was more embarrassing for.”
“In college, I had an instructor who wore a mic and used wireless speakers to address the class, as this allowed his voice to project without having to speak above his normal tone.
One day, he has to step outside the classroom to speak to one of the admin staff. He forgot to turn off the mic, so while he’s in the hallway – he’s still broadcasting to us. I don’t recall what the conversation was about, but we found it funny that we were eavesdropping with no effort.
He came back in, and as he said “Sorry about that interruption”, he realized what he’d done and turned beet red with embarrassment.”
“Another time during freshman year of high school, I was in Physics class with the same teacher as in the above section.
On this particular day, this teacher was wearing a tight dress that went from neck to knees. The dress was not in the least revealing, and was only slightly provocative because, as I said, it was fairly tight.
At some point during class, she dropped a marker and bent over to pick it up.
Apparently, she bent too much, because the entire seam on the side of her dress split, and the entirety of it fell completely off of her body.
But that’s not all. When she stood up, it was revealed that she wasn’t wearing a bra, and had nothing on but a scanty, lacy pair of panties.
After uttering a solitary “fuck,” she sprinted out of the room.”
“In 8th grade, we had an Indian Teacher. She taught math. She wanted to tell us to go to some ebook site, but she pronounced “.org” as “orgy”. Our class started laughing, and she didn’t even know what it was, until someone told her ^.^”
“I didn’t see this, but my husband told me about.
There was a new maths teacher starting at the small Christian school in which my husband teaches. This man was also teaching science, although he didn’t have training in that area (which is quite common in small western schools).
In his first lesson, he drew a test tube on the board.
It looked something like a deep U.
A couple of students giggled, but he didn’t panic. It’s okay. I can fix this. So he added the lip of the test tube.
More students giggled, but this wasn’t his first teaching job. He didn’t panic. I can fix this. I’ll just add some liquid.
By this stage, most of the class was giggling. But our hero didn’t panic. I can fix this! I’ll just add something being dissolved. He ended up with something that looked like a penis.
He studied the board for a moment, the class in hysterics behind him. Then shook his head. I can’t fix this, he thought as he rubbed the diagram from the board.
“We will never speak of this again.””
“One day my social studies teacher was teaching the Jazz Age (A.K.A. The Roarin’ 20s) and she was describing how rich the people were back then and she accidentally said:
“The company owners and the investors were so bitch-”
She meant “rich”, but accidentally said “bitch”.
She realized her mistake as soon as the class hollered “OOOOOHHHHH” and exploded in laughter.
She was laughing as well and said “”I meant rich, not that”.
Everyone was still laughing.
“I’m almost so sure that you guys have said worse.”
And that shut up the entire class and we continued the lesson.
In all seriousness that was the best thing I heard from a teacher in years.”
“During an English test on 9th grade, the class next to ours was allowed to leave early (they weren’t having test).
Running while knocking on the doors of other classes were kind of a running gag back then. And so they did… One student after the other were making a shit load of noise while running, screaming, laughing and knocking on our door while they passed (about 30 kids passed, imagine the noise).
My teacher was going nuts, and so were we, trying to finish the test. So she started walking in an accelerated pace to the door to stop this.
It happens that she slipped and slammed herself in the floor against a chair that was right next to the door.
We were floored (get it?)! We were trying our hardest not to laugh, until she got up and said:
“Don’t worry about me, I’m ok!”
Being stupid young kids, and her safety was definitely not our main concern, we all burst into laughter, while she was red as a tomato shouting at the kids passing by our classroom..
…
Oh, did I tell you about that chair?
When she slammed against it, she bent one of the legs in the back of the chair…
A couple days later, while she was waiting we finished copying some stuff from the board, she sat there. It collapsed.
This time she didn’t tell us not to worry about her, she just turned red and continued her class, after getting up, while we laughed.
We were nasty kids back then.”
“My science teacher ripped ass in front of me and another student. Lucky for him there was just two of is there. We just looked at him, then looked at each other and laughed. He just said, “don’t worry, mine don’t stink “. It was a little awkward but funny.”
“Well one time, I was supposed to make a set of copies of worksheets for my English class… but the only copier that students can go and visit is the one in the teacher’s lounge. I hate going in there, but I was really putting the whole class down if I didn’t go, so I walked in there confidently. I took in a really deep breath and pushed open the door… that was when I saw it.
My math teacher, and my history teacher were full on making out…. my history teacher had her thigh ontop of my math teacher’s leg and my math teacher’s tongue was all up in her mouth…. They didn’t see me at first but when they did I didn’t even know what to say.. I just said “Uhhhhhh…. I need to make some copies…” and then my math teacher just hurriedly and awkwardly took all my papers from my hands and made the copies.
it was just so weird looking at my teachers like that, if I didn’t know any better, I’d have still know that these two were about to have sex….”
Via Quora
