Meet Angel Handz Martinez, the world’s worst carjacker and owner of the least threatening street name we’ve ever heard. The 21-year-old Albuquerque native won the dipshit lotto recently when he thought it savvy to attempt to steal a car from a car full of football players. This was a mistake.
Martinez allegedly flagged down the car as the men were leaving practice and told them he simply needed a ride. After visiting several locations, he eventually asked them to stop outside a residence where he pulled a gun and forced them from the vehicle.
This is when Martinez made a little bit of an ‘oops.’ While attempting to drive away in reverse, he fumbled the gun (because of the nature of his tiny, little angelic hands) and was charged by the football players. They promptly beat the shit out of him. Check out the mugshot below.
The awesome-train doesn’t stop there, though. Not only was his gun completely fake, when authorities searched Martinez they found a knife and quite possibly the best handwritten note ever. It read “Give me the keys to your wip (car) and a nobody get heart. I know where you live so don’t make me kill.”
Martinez has been charged with four counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and attempt to commit a felony. He was not, however, charged for his horrific grammar.
Via WSVN
